May 29, 2005

A similar day as yesterday, she still looks a little scared and unsure but responds and looks at us as you call her name. She is also quiet around Habiba, she thinks she may be scared and still doesnít quite know what is happening or maybe it is beginning to sink in that things will be different soon. We sometimes feel that she is not bonding very well with us. I think we are just as scared as she is. We kissed her goodbye and we follow her as far as we could to get a glimpse of her with the other kids.We talked to Vinola from Adopt a Miracle at night, she asked if were decided to stay for one trip or go home and come back? We planned to stay as long as this would be finalized within 30-40 days (which it could be) she thinks we will get very bored as this is a small town with NOTHING to do entertainment wise. So far, it has not been that boring.

We are torn between missing our kids at home (we still canít imagine being away for this long) and bonding with Aidana and then having to leave her alone here for two weeks and return to Almaty once the paperwork is complete. We donít want to make Anthony miss us a day longer than he has to but we also donít want to have Aidana feel like as if we have abandoned her either. Need to decide soonÖ
May 30, 2005

Went to the baby house, we saw her with her group, she was more vibrant, when she saw us she sort of came to the doorway as if she knew she was to join us. She was a little more open but still quiet. We gave her hair ties to play with and she sat and did just that. We just watched her play and she played nice. We sometimes feel a little down ourselves in that we donít see that much of change. There are times she smiles a little, but mostly when she is in her own environment (around her group). Habiba was told by one of the caregivers that Aidana, for the past two days was crying until mid-night because she wanted to be with her ďmomma and poppaĒ when I heard this I almost broke down in tears. This was a small sign we were looking for. I think she is starting to feel differently towards us. Maybe not so scared.
Leave It To Bill To Make Arkalyk History

This afternoon Bill makes Arkalyk Kazakhstan history by being the first American to drive a car here. A policeman's car no less. Habibaís husband had to go to another town on business so reluctantly, he left his car for Bill to drive Habiba and I around (women really donít drive here). It went well, after a couple of blocks the police stopped following him. On to the baby house we went. It was an important day because we were to meet with Doctor Marina. We had bought her a stethoscope as a gift and some meds for the kids, she was really grateful, how humbling, In our country doctors have all they need and are only interested in your insurance card.

Through Habibaís translating she went through Aidanaís medical history stating from her birth, Aidana was brought to the baby house at 13 days old from the maternity hospital. Doctor Marina has taken care of her ever since. She was born of a normal full term pregnancy with really no problems other then a little anemia surprisingly enough in 33 months she has only been sick once last year with a real bad cold. Most of the children here have a lot of respiratory problems. She said she seems to have an allergy to something food related, which is causing a rash on her face. Already being the momma, I think itís just Eczema. They do give some vaccinations but when we get home we will probably start from scratch.
We mentioned to the doctor that she seems tired a lot. She explained that she has been going through some rough times. She has not been sleeping well she has been crying until midnight wanting for us. Things are changing to fast for her and she has no clue to whats going on. Aidanaís leaving isnít only affecting her but the other children as well. By now they are fully aware when a child is leaving and there is some jealousy toward her so not even the time with her group is normal anymore.

I think even her care givers get emotional about this and she picks up on that as well. Itís a lot harder on this little girl then we imagined, we thought we would leave after the first 2 weeks but Bill feels very strong that he wants her out of there as soon as posible. If we stay she would live with us at Habibaís right after court. On the other hand poor Anthony will be without us longer I donít know what to do.

After that we did get some time alone with her she seemed to be okay. While we were playing in the music room with her there was a new born baby brought in and she seem very interested in her every time the baby would make a sound or cry we would go over and I would let her rub the babyís head. She really enjoyed it. Doctor Marina also said by nature Aidanaís personality is very quiet and passive so we have to take that into account. We feel real good about our progress today.
Paka Paka for now
Are we having fun yet?
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